Tuesday, February 16, 2010

You know you have a child with a cochlear implant when...

This post is "adapted", well stolen, really, from a post I just read by Lucas' mommy.  I just loved it so much!  I've made a few tweaks to fit my personal experience.

You know your child has a cochlear implant when...

...his hearing aids made better chew toys than amplification devices.
...you've developed dog-like hearing to detect the feedback from his hearing aids, and the beeping of his processor.
...you wonder why anyone would try to teach the alphabet in the bathtub when your child can't hear in the bathtub.
...you worry about rough play, tumbles, jumping, etc. because his coil might fall off.
...you have a fear of plastic slides, cozy coupes and fleece.
...you carry along static guard and dryer sheets when you go to the park.
...you find yourself pointing out every sound that you hear (while pointing to your ear).
...you pop his coil off once and a while and yell really loudly, to make sure that he really can't hear without it.
...you've ever gotten strange looks or questions while in public.
...you know what "ear gear" and "critter clips" are.
...you never leave home without extra batteries, a back-up processor, a remote control, or extra wig tape.
...you've discovered a contraption, like an aloksak or food saver bag, to allow your child to hear while swimming.
...you check out EVERYONE's ears to see if they wear hearing aids or cochlear implants.
...you decorate your child's CI to make it look "cool".
...you've ever been driving and gotten hit in the back of the head with a flying processor.
...you've ever pulled the car over to take his processor out of his mouth.
...you've had to search high and low for a processor that your child has mysteriously hidden somewhere, maybe even having disassembled first.
...you know few, if any, other kids (or even adults) with cochlear implants. You've made most of your connections through the blogging world or CI Circle.
...you've taken the John Tracy Clinic correspondence course.
...you are a member of the Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, Hand and Voices, or the American Society for Deaf Children.
...you've ever received or know of others who have received hateful comments from a member of the Deaf community.
...you panic if your child doesn't respond when you call him
...you constantly test him to make sure he's hearing.
...you've mastered every onomatopeoia.
...you refer to his processor as his "ear".
...your child takes off his "ear" because he's mad, frustrated, or doesn't want to hear you anymore.
...you spend many hours a week in formal therapy, but all playtime is unofficial therapy time, and you're always looking for a teachable moment.
...you narrate everything that you do, and even elicit strange looks at the grocery store from your repetitive comments like "up, up, up you go", "do you want a piece of cheese? hmmmm, cheese? I like cheese. Do you like cheese?"
...you're completely sick of the sound of your own voice by bedtime.
...you hide and call your child's name to make sure he's hearing.
...you've ever vacuumed under the crib while your child was napping.
...you've endured an hour car ride with the processor beeping every 15 seconds.
...you hate putting your child in the car, in the stroller or in the high chair because his processor inevitably falls off.
...you interrupt conversations to say "Hold on, my child is beeping"
...you've stopped going to the mall because he can't hear you so well there.
...you know which sippy cups are good for speech development and you pass this information along to your other mommy friends.
...you marvel every day at how the simple act of attaching the magnet allows your child to go from 0 to 95 in an instant.
...your child has 2 birthdays - a real birthday and a hearing birthday.
...you can't imagine life for your child without it.

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