Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Happy Hearing Day!

November 5, 2009.  Happy Hearing Day, David!  This is the beginning of a new chapter in your life, where anything is possible, where your discovery of this noisy world begins, where your story begins.  You have made us so proud and happy already, but we know that now you will really start to soar.  You already have such a wonderfully happy personality, but we just can't wait to see how you change and interact with your new world.  We wish you all the joy, love and success that such a sweet little boy deserves, and we hope that you always remain curious about the world around you.  

Okay, enough with the mushy stuff...

I was hoping to do this post a little while ago, but I was waiting to put the video of David's activation on YouTube to share.  Turns out a video that is about an hour long will take at least that long to upload.  We need to figure out how to edit the video and then I'll post it. 

Activation Day went off without a hitch.  All of David's electrodes were working properly and like a good little boy, he responded to most of the sounds sent to the implant from the audiologist's computer.  After hearing the first sound (a tone burst) he even smiled and got a little excited!  He turned to the little dancing piggy when he was supposed to, and he didn't seem too upset by the new sensation of hearing.  He kept taking the processor off his ear, but no big deal, I just kept putting it back on his little head.  That is until the processor was switched to hearing speech, and then David just started crying and refused to put the processor back on.  Usually nothing fazes David - he's not scared of other adults or kids, dogs, heights, new places - nothing really scares him.  But he was truly scared by hearing us speaking to him.  I had heard stories and seen videos of other kids' activations, and most kids gets pretty scared and start crying, so I knew it was completely normal.  But for some reason I had this fantasy that David would just turn to me with a big smile on his face and say "Oh, thank you Mom for getting me this cochlear implant.  I love to hear.  I love you!"  Well, not really, but I did think that David would react differently than other kids, that he would be a superstar and just be totally okay and happy at that first moment of hearing.  I think Steve and I were a little disappointed that the moment was kind of anti-climactic.  We were hoping for something very dramatic - well, it was dramatic for David - but it just wasn't as we had imagined.  No, David didn't start speaking at that moment and he wasn't happy at those first sounds, but he certainly has shown us that he is a superstar.  He adapted very quickly to hearing and to wearing his processor and has started babbling (take a look at the new sounds on the sidebar), playing with his toys, clapping and generally is just a happier kid.  I thought he had a great personality to begin with, but now there's a real joy in his eyes, like he realizes he was missing out on something and is so happy to be experiencing it now.  We are so happy you are too baby boy!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Priceless

Anesthesia, surgery and recovery: $23,000
Surgeon's fee: $7,000
Cochlear Implant: $75,000
The gift of hearing: Priceless

We just got the Explanation of Benefits from David's surgery and holy friggin' cow!  The total for the surgery, the surgeon and the implant came about to about $105,000!  Private medical insurance sure as heck ain't perfect, but thank Gd for it!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Surgery a Success

I've put off this post as long as I possibly could, being that David's CI activation is tomorrow!  It has seemed like such a daunting task to put into words what surgery day was like, so I've just been avoiding it.  So, here goes...Surgery day was one of the most exciting, scary, and nerve-rwacking days of my life.  In a way, it felt much like the day that I gave birth to David, the day of a new beginning with new possibilities.  On the other hand, putting your baby under the knife can never be easy, but doing it for an elective surgery brings along with it feelings of fear, guilt and doubt on top of everything else.  Neither Steve nor I slept more than 2 hours the night before so we were also physically drained.  Put all that together and were were pretty much emotional wrecks. 

I had the honorable task of carrying David down a long hallway filled with surgeons to the operating room.  That was really a surreal moment, like a scene out of a movie or something.  Kind of like I had imagined, but nothing like I could have prepared for.  At that moment I felt singularly responsible for what David was about to go through.  The mood was lightened a little bit when I put David down on the operating table and my little boy, true to form, refused to lie down and was doing flippity-do's on the table.  The nurses tried to use the mask to put him to sleep, but he wouldn't have it and he flipped over and sat up.  So they put the mask over his face while he was sitting up, and 5 seconds later he was out....

2.5 hours later Dr. Lalwani found us in the waiting room and told us everything went perfectly.  Woohoo!  We were waiting for this moment for the past 10 months and finally, it was over, and evetything went well and the implant was working and David was heading for recovery.  Next time I see the doctor I have to remember to give him a hug becuase in that moment I just didn't know what to do.  But that man deserves a big hug for the incredible gift he gave David, and all the little kids whose lives he's changed.  At that moment, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.  David was finally beginning his journey to hearing...

Seeing David in the recovery room was one of the toughest moments.  He looked badly beaten, swollen, drugged and in pain.  I don't think Steve or I was prepared for this - the way David looked and the guilt that came from knowing we chose this for him - but we got through it knowing that it would be worth it in the end.  

The night in the hopsital was absolutely miserable.  It's not easy staying in a 5 x7 space with 3 people, a chair, a crib, and no bed or food.  Steve, I'm sorry, but I must must must mention (because I didn't have a chance to take a picture of it) that Steve slept in a crib that night.  David slept in my arms so he wouldn't try to roll over and so his head would be elevated, and Steve curled up in the fetal position and slept in the crib.  Just one more thing from that day that I'll never forget =).